Gods I hate Percy
by Mago V
Summary: The actual story of Percy Jackson and his friends written as they happened not so that it would make a good book, warning contains bashing of... pretty much everyone.
1. Gods I hate Percy

**This is a combination of** _ **Something Rotten,**_ **and Riordan's work where the main character is Malcolm Pace looking through the eyes of a true hero who was passed up for two lovers that would make the better main characters of a novel.**

"And I'm really getting sick of it!" my half sister Annabeth Chase yelled at me after our cabins usual briefing by the head counselor, which for all intensive purposes should have been me but our camp director, Dionysus, had made her Athena's head counselor after Nick Bottom had died backing up Thaila allowing Grover and Annabeth enough time to scramble to safety, bet you didn't hear that part from Jackson, and the worse part was it wasn't Zeus who saved Thaila's life, but Artemis.

Don't get me wrong, I had no quarrel with Jackson, he was decent with his sword and his water powers were also pretty helpful, but then the starting writing a fictional account of what happened, it was my sister that I couldn't stand, I would have called my version _Gods, I hate Annabeth_ but Annabeth has three syllables and she still is my sister.

So after trying to negotiate with my sister to stay at camp half blood after learning about New Rome, I headed towards the Arts and crafts center to get my thoughts together where my thoughts drifted back to how this all started.


	2. Welcome to My World

**Normal typing is Malcolm's narrating, underlined Italics is will be Pollux's Commenting, Italics will be Malcolm's response.**

It all started the day Annabeth arrived, after the service for Thalia, and Nick, at the end Dionysus came out and as a reward for surviving all of those attacks gave the honor of being head counselor to Annabeth, I swear he was sneering at me when he said it.

"And now since the troubling events of today have robbed us of a veteran camper and a promising newcomer it is only fit to name the replacement of Nick Bottom, my thoughts are the that Mr. Bottom helped save his own replacement, that new Athena cabin girl." Dionysus said smiling.

"Annabeth" Chiron said cutting in.

"Whatever, potato, patato."

While the rest of the camp broke into overwhelmed cheers I smiled and clapped politely thinking that this was my punishment for last year when I challenged his leadership qualities, it wasn't even me who started it, Charles Beckendorf said that he could make a better… oh, shoot, my bad.

The one saving grace was that the power didn't get to Annabeth's head all at once, it came in small bursts like when she made us reorganize our cabins Library from Dewey to Metis, I mean I know Metis is named after our grandmother but still Dewey is much better,

 _Right Pollux._

 _Dude, I really have no comment at this point._

but because it was after our mother and Annabeth was the one who suggested it the entire cabin ate it up. Another time was when she tried to make training focus more daggers and less on formation fighting with spears and shields. Her logic was that we could each do more damage with a fast, stealthy and fluid like weapon when fighting in formation protects more people resulting in less casualties, but no the idea was given to us by the prodigy of Athena so we all switched our training to knifes.

Now normally this wouldn't have been a problem more training in how to wield knives can be seen as how to defend yourselves with limited supplies, however what didn't approve of was some of our older campers got rusty with their old weapons.

But it really started getting bad after Luke came back from his failed quest which resulted in a temporary ban on other quests, however I never really understood that sure Luke could handle himself well in a fight, but he was nowhere near as skilled as Jackson's recount makes him look.

 _He was still pretty good._

 _Whatever,_ anyway Annabeth started acting even more like the lone dictator of our cabin, forcing people whom she knew Luke could beat to pair up with him in the sword fighting arena just to get her old crush back to his Cheery go lucky self.

And trust me, this isn't just me being angry over the success of one of my juniors, trust me if that was it, I would never have been worthy of being named a son of Athena.

I remember it clearly, where our story begins,

 _Good, because up until now this this has been about nothing other than how my father made a bad call putting Annabeth in charge of your cabin, and your bashing of your sister._

 _No one asked for your input Pollex._

 _I'm Just pointing out that if I hadn't stopped you from ending a couple sentences ago this would have been two chapters of how you hate someone with no plot,_

 _All right I get it, just let me get on with it._

 _Sure, I'm just here because of your supply of free Mike and Ike's for the duration of your…_

 _Alright, alright I get it, jeez. Next time remind me to get Gardener or someone._

Anyway as I was saying, it all started the day Jackson arrived.

 _Cue flashback_

 _Cue flashback_

 _Cue flashback Pollex!_

 _Oh, yeah, right, phwish._

 _Phwish? Whatever we'll just roll with it._

"Malcom get the cabin together, we're all going to train together." My twelve year old half sister shouted back to me as I had just sat down to reread Sun Tzu's Art of War for the Fourth time.

I put the book down and studied the doorway that Annabeth left open when she dashed out of the cabin towards the fencing pavilion.

I sighed thinking that the two of us were the exact opposite, Annabeth was The leader that never ran out of energy, she was the first one up and the last one to hit the cot, she was always ready to practice whereas I went to sleep early and woke up late and preferred going over drill as opposed to training.

"Everybody, you heard Annabeth fall into order and head to the fencing arena."

As soon as I organized the cabin and got them to the arena I noticed that Annabeth wasn't there, I was confused but I quickly assumed that she was again trying to convince Chiron to let her leave the camps boundaries, and decided to drill the campers until she returned, it would be a good use of time while I waited for her to return.

After a half hour of having the cabin march back and forth in phalanx formation it was time to give them a break and go find Annabeth.

"Alright guys, find a partner and go at each other with all you've got, I'll be back in a little bit with Annabeth to continue you lesson, Jacob, you're in charge." I said as I sprinted out to find the lead counselor.

I looked towards the horizon, the sun had already set but even if it hadn't the outside world was quite dark, it was storming all around our camp making it hard to hear anything over the constant thunder and rain. Eventually I made my way to the big house, assuming Annabeth was still trying to convince Chiron to let her explore the world like her old days with Luke, Thalia and Ethan. Instead I found her talking to Chiron with a stranger on a bed and with Argus in the corner.

I arched an eyebrow at this, pointed to sleeping boy and asked who he was.

Chiron responded that he was an undetermined who he was teaching at a school called Yancy Academy.

I looked closer at the kid, not a son of Athena I decided.

"Annabeth," I said returning my attention to our evening training, "we should get back to the arena, I set them up against themselves but we should get back and assist the training."

Annabeth looked at the unconscious kid and then at Chiron who nodded his head.

Actually Malcolm, give them the night, I still have to ask Chiron something."

Assuming she was joking I waited for the punchline but as I studied her face I realized she was being truthful.

Thinking back on it I should have known that something was up when Annabeth wanted to skip out on evening training.


	3. Welcome to My World Reprise

_I was just wondering since Pollex wasn't cut out for it I was hoping that you would be able to help out, what do you say Drew?_

 _What would I get out of it?_

 _Communal Mike and Ikes._

 _No._

 _You would also get to insult people._

 _I'm in._

The next day I was the first to get up, six o'clock on the dot, I started to wake up the rest of the cabin and helped them get ready for cabin inspection that was after breakfast. If I remembered correctly this time around it was Clarisse so it wouldn't be that hard to get a good rank compared to everyone else Athena's cabin was almost always ranked at least first or second, only Aphrodite was able to pull ahead of us sometimes in terms of cleanliness.

 _Yeah but you're all a bunch of dorks, so we basically always win._

 _Seriously go eat the Mike and Ikes._

 _Can't._

 _Oh right, you're probably concerned about the ingredients._

 _What, no idiot, Pollex ate them all._

 _Fine, here's five dollars, go buy another box._

 _Thanks._

 _She won't be back, I just blew five dollars._

Whatever, we got second, what can I say, the Ares and Athena was still going strong. That day Annabeth was late to show up our cabin and instead arrived with Chiron and Dionysus still in deep conversation with both of them. As she made her way over to our table I made room for her and asked how the boy was doing.

"He is fine," she responded as she started picking through her eggs, "He somehow managed to kill a minotaur and was mainly just exhausted and in shock as Grover said he just witnessed the minotaur kill his mother."

"Ouch." I grimaced thankful that at least my mortal parent had a job where he knew how to deal with a little danger, still against a minotaur even working as a lawyer with a group of police wouldn't be helpful if they had no celestial bronze bullets.

"Has he woken up," I asked concerned for this new camper.

"Multiple times," Annabeth said as she reached for reached for her orange juice glass, "but then he goes back to sleep."

"Are you going back to look over him or lead the cabin in our activities today." I asked concerned over the cabins usually predictable schedule.

"Chiron asked me to help make sure he doesn't choke on vomit or blood, so I guess that makes you counselor for today." Annabeth said as she rose from our table.

"So I guess that also means archery is off"? I asked.

"Yeah," she responded leaving for the big house, "Chiron said you would be qualified to go over javelin technique though." she added looking back at me. With Annabeth unavailable it fell on my shoulders to go over ancient Greek with some of the newer campers, mainly two sons of Apollo, and a daughter of Hermes. Normally whenever it came to teach campers ancient Greek I got a group that were a bit more experienced but not so much that they would be able to point out some of the finer details, so it was a challenge trying to teach the three younger demigods, or at least calm them down to a point where their not so annoying. Eventually I was relieved by Selina, who had way more patience than I, and was sent, with the rest of the Athena cabin to polish the armor for the upcoming capture the flag game.

As we all headed to the equipment shack I gathered the rest of the Athena campers and set up groups part of us would polish the armor while another would hammer out the dents the third would sort out the equipment, according to if it was in good enough condition to just polish it, hammer out the dents, send it to the Hephaestus cabin for further repair or scrap the material all together.

I floated in between all three groups supervising and helping where I was needed. I mainly stuck with the group that was hammering out the dents making sure that the campers didn't make new dents. As I was straightening a broadsword that if I remembered correctly was stepped on by a hellhound after it sent the camper flying, I should probably go check on him in the infirmary after this, I thought to myself.

The rest of the morning flew by, we finished the armor with three minutes to spare, and after that it was time to go to the javelin arena, most of the Athena cabin were proficient enough with a javelin so all I was there for was to give little pointers and call someone from the Apollo cabin in case someone got injured. Taking over for Annabeth in mythology was easier than literature as the campers she taught were usually more experienced and mature so I went through it with relative ease.

Lunch was good I suppose, it's hard to destroy or celebrate something as basic as lunch but at the end I announced to my cabin to start the wrestling practice without me while I made a stop at the big house to check in on the injured camper, William I think his name was.

When I opened the door I was met with the same scene as the last time I was in the big house, the black haired boy was still out and my sister held a bowl of Ambrosia in her hand with Chiron looking at the scene silently.

"Annabeth, Chiron," I said nodding at both of them in greeting, "unconscious kid."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit Malcolm." Chiron asked turning his attention away from the scene going on in front of him.

I was wondering if William was up and about yet."

Chiron pursed his lips and responded, "His mother came and brought him home yesterday, she said it was for his own well being. I was planing on telling everyone today at lunch but as you can see I have other duties to attend to." Chiron said pointing to the kid.

"Still, I don't know it just seems like a mistake taking a son of Ares away from a place where he can train and learn how to properly defend himself in these types of situations." Annabeth said looking up from her patient.

"Alright," I said looking around I should probably go back and join in the wrestling training," I said opening the door to head back out, "will you be joining us anytime," I asked Annabeth turning around in the doorway.

Annabeth looked over to Chiron who smiled and said, "I believe Argus and I can handle things from here on out, thank you for your help though Annabeth, and trust me, I'll let you know when your patient here wakes up.

"Thank you but that won't be necessary." she said before she stood up and we headed towards where our cabin had gathered trying to practice wrestling.

"So what do you think about the new camper." I asked.

"Troubled kid, probably does poorly in school and gets in trouble a lot, he seems pretty clueless…" she continued to ramble on before I interrupted her.

"I meant his parentage," I said.

"Oh, well obviously not Athena, his black hair and clueless nature ensure that." she said looking back towards the big house.

I chuckled, "He just realized that Greek mythology exists, go easier on him, I doubt you were any… sorry." I said remembering her story.

"It's fine." she said, refusing to speak any further on that subject.

And so that was it, the next day the camper regained his consciousness and was given a tour by Chiron that was finished by Annabeth while I trained the campers again after Annabeth got back from her tour she walked into the cabin dripping wet covered in water, I looked up from my what I was working on, carving a wooden chess board with pieces based after the two armies that clashed at the battle of Cannae with the one general I admired the most who I wasn't related to, and quickly looked back down to avoid upsetting her.

After she changed to a set of dry clothes she walked up to me and told me that giving the tour to the Newbie was interesting as she explained what happened.

"You know," I said, "this could help us in the Game Friday night." I said smiling at her. She thought for it a bit and she eventually broke into her own grin thanks bro, I knew I kept you around for some reason despite you being a huge prick. I'll get Jackson and Hermes and you can get another cabin." she said as she dashed out of the cabin.

"At least she acknowledges my contributions I thought to myself, "aw well, to the Apollo cabin." I said slipping my wood work into my duffel bag.

"This weeks capture the flag game was going to be a cinch," I remember thinking and I was right, Percy, the new camper was targeted by the entire Ares cabin which allowed for a mad rush across the border resulting in our side winning. I momentarily allowed myself to be distracted by the fact that our plan had worked, just long enough to have been distracted and was only made aware of the hellhounds presence after Chiron had shot it, I quickly made my way to the large group of campers that was surrounding Percy I managed to get there in time to see the holographic trident just disappear I was about to get on me knees when a voice whispered behind me "What's going on, what happened"?

I spun around my javelin still in hand but sighed in relief when I realized that it was just Lee Fletcher, he was panting and had a wild look in his eyes like he had just seen a ghost. As the others started to stand I quietly pulled Fletcher And asked him what was wrong.

"What, oh nothing I just used most of my energy healing a wound Beckendorf gave one of my cabin mates, boy is that guy strong, anyway what was all of that," Lee asked pointing towards the swarm of campers who were congratulating the new camper.

"Right, he was claimed by Poseidon." I responded looking over my shoulder.

Lee's eyes widened either from shock or he was trying massage life back into his body. "Yeesh, that's big."

"Yeah," I responded narrowing my eyes at the son of Poseidon "Very big indeed."


End file.
